


Need For Comfort, A

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-15
Updated: 2004-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:11:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: CJ, despondent over recent events, is in need of a little comfort, and Sam is there for her.





	Need For Comfort, A

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

A Need For Comfort

**A Need For Comfort**

**by:**   


**Category:** Drama  
**Characters:** CJ, Sam  
**Rating:** ADULT  
**Summary:** CJ, despondent over recent events, is in need of a little comfort, and Sam is there for her. **Warning: Adult content****  


* * *

   Sam sits at his table in the corner of the bar watching her. He notices the weariness in her pose, the sadness and hurt in her eyes, all of which had been growing with every passing day. Most of all, he's overwhelmed by the feeling that she's given up some essential part of herself. He can pretty much pinpoint the moment he first started to notice it. It was the night she misspoke at the briefing and ended up berating herself far worse than anyone else could have. It had been bad- horrendously bad, in fact, but it was done. It couldn't be taken back. The worst part was, Sam can't get over the feeling that she has surrendered to the defeat of one mistake.

   He watches a little more intently as she lifts the glass she had been staring into for the last thirty minutes and downed it in one toss. The bartender turned in her direction when she made her quiet request for a refill, and Sam was mildly surprised when the man poured a double shot of Jack Daniels into her glass. CJ didn't drink Jack Daniels, that was Toby's regular choice. He knew CJ liked her tequila, and would drink an occasional glass of Chivas if she was in the mood- but he had never known her to drink straight shots of Jack Daniels. She had always teased Toby about his taste in liquor, commenting that it was just one more area where she had superior taste.

   The bartender walked away, returning to cleaning glasses and preparing to close the bar. As far as Sam could tell, he and CJ were last of his customers. CJ didn't pick up the glass the bartender had just poured for her. She only looked into it, running her finger around the edge . As he watched, Sam came to the decision that whether or not she would welcome it, CJ would have his company, and whatever comfort he could offer.

   As CJ looked into the glass, she wished for the millionth time that night that she could get rip-roaringly drunk. Maybe then she could stop the hellish, constant replay of the words she spoke that night. The thing was, she had this irritatingly mulish inner resolve that wouldn't allow her to lose control of herself that way. You'd think just this once she could get a reprieve from the famous Cregg steel backbone. Just a short reprieve...long enough to drown the annoying and repetitive voice in her head. She turned, feeling the presence of someone next to her, and saw Sam standing there. Poor Sam. Poor sensitive, giving, caring Sam. He was here to cheer her up. The problem was- she didn't want to be cheered up. She wanted to forget.

  "Samuel...what can I do for you?"

  "Nothing. I just ...I just came over to see if you could use some company."

 Sam stood there, while CJ gave him a long look of consideration. Finally, she shook her head slightly and turned back to her still untouched drink.

  "No thanks, I'm doing quite well all on my own."

 Ignoring her refusal, Sam took a seat beside her at the bar.

  "I wish everyone could ignore my words as easily as you do," CJ stated, glancing at Sam briefly, then returning her attention to her drink.

  Sam leaned closer to her and moved the glass from in front of her, knowing that doing so would get her attention, if nothing else would. When she continued to look down at the bar, and avoid his gaze, Sam touched her arm and spoke to her.

  "CJ, don't you think it's time to stop beating yourself up over that?"

  "No."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I'm not done yet," CJ replied, reaching over and retrieving her glass.

  "And you think that's going to help?" Sam asked, gesturing to the liquor.

  "No."

  "Then why-"

  "Because I don't have a more appealing alternative," she replied, trying once again to effectively ignore him. Sam didn't understand. When Sam made a mistake, it usually wasn't quite as public as hers had been. Well...there was the picture of him and the call girl, but that had been easily forgotten. A few chastising looks, a Mary Marsh tongue lashing ( what else was new?), then it was all forgotten. Of course there had been the slight matter of the President being brought down in a hail of bullets, and Josh almost dying at the hands of white-supremacists with bad aim. That had done the job rather effectively when it came to diverting the public from Sam's minor indiscretion. That thought made her drop her head in her hands. ‘What in the hell's wrong with me?' she thought. ‘To think of the President getting shot and Josh almost dying as a ‘diversion'!'

  "Well, at least I didn't say that thought out loud," she mumbled to herself.

  "What?" Sam asked, looking at her oddly.

  "Nothing. Look, Sam- why don't you go back to your room, get some rest? Don't you still have a speech to write?"

  "Yes, but I'm not doing that right now. Right now I'm sitting here talking to you."

  "Fine. Suit yourself."

  The sat together, in silence, for the longest time. Finally, the bartender walked over to them, and regretfully informed them that he needed to close up. CJ looked from the bartender to Sam and with a sigh, picked up her drink and polished it off in the same fashion she had the previous one. She slid off the barstool with surprising grace for someone who had just downed an impressive amount of liquor in one shot.

  "I guess it's time to move on, Samuel," she remarked, with what seemed a frightening tone of finality. Sam couldn't seem to say anything, or move, for a moment. He simply stood there and watched as CJ walked out of the bar. Finally shaking himself out of his stupor, Sam reached into his pocket and, withdrawing a few bills, tossed them on the bar top as he followed CJ out. As he walked outside, Sam noticed CJ standing on the sidewalk, having what appeared to be a rather heated discussion with Toby. He stepped back a little, so as to escape their notice, and waited. Maybe CJ would leave with Toby and he could talk some sense into her. Sam could feel what CJ was on the verge of doing and he thought that if anyone could talk her out of it, it would be Toby. Of course, observing the two of them at that particular moment, he began to have doubts. From his vantage point he couldn't make out the words, but the tone was clear enough. Finally, Toby threw his hands in the air and stalked off, leaving CJ standing there. Sam left his place in the doorway and approached CJ, stopping when he reached her side. He was somewhat shocked to see silent tears trailing down her cheeks. There was no sound- just the tears. Unable to think of any suitable words to say, Sam did the only thing he could think of- he put his arm around CJ and led her down the street to their hotel.

   They got to CJ's room first, and Sam intended on making sure she got in okay, giving her some water and some aspirin and then leaving her to get some rest. It was a sound plan, and one he intended on following- right up until the moment he walked out of the bathroom with the glass of water in one hand, aspirin in the other, and saw the look on CJ's face. He had never seen such a look of such heartbreaking despondency on anyone's face before, much less CJ‘s. She was always so contained, confident, totally in control of everything . Now, to see her like this...

  Setting the glass and the pills on the nightstand, Sam knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his.

  "CJ...Please talk to me. If you're thinking what I think you are- please don't." 

 CJ looked into his concerned eyes, and with a sad, tear-filled smile, shook her head.

  "It's no good, pal. I screwed up big."

  "CJ...it's not fatal, you know. No one blames you. You were tired and..."

  "None of that matters, and you know it. Or you should. Tell me something honestly- if it had been anyone else, if anyone else had made such a monumentally horrendous screw-up at such a crucial moment, would you be here holding their hand? Would you? Or would you be preparing to serve their head on a platter?"

  "CJ..."

  "Answer the question, damn it!" CJ demanded, her voice taking on a hard edge.

  "No- because it's not someone else, CJ! It's you. You don't crucify someone for one mistake. If that was true, none of us would be here. Stop doing this, will you. It's only going to make things so much worse. We all need each other now- more than ever."

  The anger had drained from Sam's voice, until all that was left was the plea that she understand and believe him. He moved from where he had been kneeling in front of her, to sit beside her on the bed. CJ leaned into him, heaving a defeated sigh.

  "I just want it all to stop- or never to have happened. I committed the one unpardonable sin- the one thing that someone in my position can never do- I lost control."

  "We all lose it sometime, CJ. Sometimes... it just all gets to you," Sam told her as he wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. She leaned into him even more, accepting what he was giving her. Too worn out and despondent to move away from the strength that he was offering. Some part of her wished that it was Toby that was here next to her, but she pushed the thought away. Thinking about Toby now would only make her feel worse. She couldn't bear that. Sam was strong and warm and...here.

  CJ wasn't really consciously aware that she had begun to run her hands over Sam in a more demanding way. She reached down, tugging his shirt from his pants, then pulling blindly at the buttons, until they came free. She felt him hesitate. It was just for a moment, just long enough for her to register his indecision, before he gave in to what she was silently asking for.

  She felt the warmth of his fingers as they slipped her blouse off her shoulders, then trailed down over her breasts. Her hands moved over his chest, and again the phantom thought of another man entered her mind as she felt the difference. She chased the thought away once more as her hand dropped lower, and she fumbled blindly with the zipper on his pants. They fell back on the bed together, shedding clothes as they went. They both knew this wasn't about romance or desire or even one another. It was all about need and release and escape.

  As CJ lay beneath Sam, she gave herself over to the demands of her body, letting all conscious thought just drift away. She felt strong, yet gentle hands cup her breasts, his fingers caressing her already taut nipples, then being replaced by his mouth. That sensation was surpassed when she felt his hand slip between her legs, trailing up one long leg until he reached his eventual destination, making sure she was ready for him. She was. At that moment, she was long past ready, and only one thing would satisfy the longing she felt. She reached for him, guiding him into her- letting him know without words what she wanted...needed.

    She felt him move inside her, drawing out their pleasure until he was sure that he wouldn't leave her behind now that he was feeling the need for his own release. There was a moment, the only time that a word was spoken between them, and it was CJ, who uttered a raspy "Now!". Sam increased the rhythm, giving what she asked, allowing her to achieve her release and then surrendering to his own. They lay there together for a moment, until finally Sam heard CJ's breathing even out and knew that she was drifting off to sleep. As quietly as possible, he got up from the bed, and gathering his clothes, he went into the bathroom to dress. When he emerged a few minutes later, he saw CJ lying on the bed still, but her eyes were open and she had a slight hint of a smile on her face. He stopped short, not quite knowing what to say. CJ's thoughts were apparently running along the same vein.

  "I want to say thank you...but somehow it doesn't seem quite right."

  "Yeah...I...you don't have to say anything, CJ. This was just one of those times when friends need each other."

  "Okay...Sam?"

  "Yeah?"

  "You're a good friend," CJ said after a moment, her voice quiet and tender.

  "So are you, and I don't want to lose that. Okay?"

   "I'll try."

   "That's all I want."

  Sam walked over to where she lay and leaning down, brushed a kiss on top of her head, wishing her goodnight. A moment later he was gone, and CJ hugged one of the pillows close to her, wishing despite herself that Toby was lying next to her as a lone tear trailed down her cheek.

The End

1.5.6503.32258  


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